


Candy Cane Conundrum

by JA_Authoress



Series: Muggle Mishaps [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1978, Christmas, F/M, Kinda, Licking, M/M, jily, lots and lots of licking, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JA_Authoress/pseuds/JA_Authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Lily.”</p><p>“Not a word.”</p><p>“Why—”</p><p>“Remus, I’m warning you.”</p><p>“This is entirely your fault.”</p><p>“I know.”  Lily rubbed her temples with one hand, her other hand clenching onto a cup of tea like it was her life line.  “You give Black a millimetre, or something as simple as a candy cane, and suddenly he’s all ‘Muggles make the greatest things in life, why did my mother hate them so much? I must try all of the muggle related things right now!’  Honestly Remus, how on earth do you find the energy to keep up with him?”</p><p>Lily gave Sirius a candy cane.  Sirius needs to find the absolute best flavour to bring to the Potter's Christmas Party.  Naturally, he gets everyone to help him decide, and what's a taste test without a little contest?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candy Cane Conundrum

December 13, 1978

“Lily.”

“Not a word.”

“Why—”

“Remus, I’m warning you.”

“This is entirely your fault.”

“I know.” Lily rubbed her temples with one hand, her other hand clenching onto a cup of tea like it was her life line. “You give Black a millimetre, and suddenly he’s all ‘Muggles make the greatest things in life, why did my mother hate them so much? I must try all of the muggle related things right now!’ Honestly Remus, how on earth do you find the energy to keep up with him?”

Remus opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to find the right words, but for once, words (beautiful usually stable and reliable words) failed him.

The remaining three Marauders were flopping about in the living room like caught fish, trying to organize something or other on their coffee table. James realized it wasn’t going to be big enough, and successfully managed to transfigure it bigger, to much fanfare. 

“I still can’t believe you! It’s one thing that you gave Sirius a candy cane, but then you had the audacity to let him know that they came in other strange flavours. He didn’t have to know there was a kind other than the red and white one.”

“That’s not answering my question.”

“You’re trying to avoid blame.”

“Do you have to be at work today?”

“No,” Remus sighed, “My next shift isn’t until Saturday morning.”

Lily winced. “Ah, well, I’m sure you’ll get loads of shifts for next week.”

“I hope so. I’m surprised they’ve kept me for this long, to be honest.”

“Oi!” Sirius interrupted their grim talk. “What are you two chattering on about? Get your arses over here. We’ve got loads of work to do.”

Peter and James nodded dutifully. They were slowly becoming more and more involved in these muggle traditions. Obviously Sirius embellished some things.

Lily and Remus joined them after making another cup of tea. It was going to be a long afternoon. 

Lily leaned up next to James. Remus sat on the floor between Sirius and Peter.

“What exactly are we doing?” Remus asked slowly. He took in the incredibly colourful rows of candy. There were going to be some serious cavities after this.

“We need to see which brand and flavour is the best. Moony and I going to bring it to the Potter’s Christmas Party.”

“We are?”

“Yes!”

Remus chugged his tea. He didn’t like his tea tainted by other flavours.

“All right, let’s get on with it.”

*10 minutes later*

“This is going to take a lot longer than I thought.” Sirius looked at the candy cane in his hand, not even half done.

Lily, obviously more experienced in the art of candy cane eating, had licked hers into a shank. 

Peter looked between her pointy candy, and the witch wielding it, and shifted closer to Remus.

“Why don’t we just eat half of the stick?” James looked sick of his already. Peppermint never was his favourite flavour. He tried reminding Sirius that, but that only encouraged him to buy an even wider variety of flavours. (“Do you like apple flavoured things?” “Pads, I’m allergic to apples.” “What? Since when?” “Since forever.” “Well, that’s news to me!”)

“Brilliant idea,” Remus was quick to concur. He loved his sweets, sure, but he was going to have to pace himself.

“New rule: You must finish at least half of your stick. Loser has to—”

“Kiss the winner?” Lily suggested, innocently nibbling on her candy.

Remus choked.

Sirius barked out a laugh.

James and Peter exchanged glances.

Remus saw it. He was not pleased.

“Do one thing the winner asks?” she said, once her initial suggestion was laughed out of the running.

There were only 4 more flavours. Six chances of something going horrifically wrong. What the heck. Remus sighed.

“Good idea.”

*Round 2*

Sirius moaned has he crunched on the spearmint flavoured stick. 

Remus did his best to block it out, crunching on his stick faster. He couldn’t lose to Lily. While sober Lily was much better than drunk Lily, there was no telling what she’d make him do.

“Done!” Peter slammed down his candy cane, the crook of the hook still there, but clearly above and beyond the half way mark.

“Well done, Wormtail!” James clapped him on the shoulder. He quickly swallowed the remnants of his.

Sirius came in last, but he really didn’t care.

“Brilliantly executed, mate. Oh! Everyone! Count the stripes! We need to know if the stripes determine the peppermint level.”

“Sure thing, Padfoot.”

“Ta Moony.”

“Oi, Padfoot. Get me a glass of water, would you?”

“Oh my Wormtail, drunk with power aren’t we?”

*Round 3*

“This one definitely has more of a peppermint kick than the first one,” James said, scrunching up his face unattractively. His eyes were watering a bit. “Shite, whose brilliant idea was this!”

Lily silently crunched on her stick, avoiding her fiancé’s eye.

“If things can taste this good, why can’t stamps!”

“It’s just how the world works, Padfoot.” Remus slammed the remnants of his candy cane. “Suck on that, Evans!”

Everyone stopped and stared. Lily was indeed the last one to finish though.

“Er, I mean,” Remus coughed. “Lily has to finish her whole stick in the next round.”

“What?!”

“You heard the man!” Sirius began handing out the next round of candy canes. They were going into the odd flavoured rounds.

*Round 4*

“Now see, this one is much better.”

“Agreed, Prongs,” Peter said through a mouthful.

“It would be much better if someone hadn’t made me eat the whole thing.” Lily said sweetly, but her eyes promised swift and vicious vengeance. 

“Hmm, I like toffee, who knew?” Sirius crunched contently. He slammed down his a few seconds later.

Lily swore, but managed to finish before James.

“Prongs! You must buy us Indian food for dinner tonight.”

“Well, that went much better than I thought it was going to go. I’ll order it after this mess is cleared.”

*Round 5*

“Oh Merlin!” Sirius coughed violently. “What’s wrong with this?”

“It’s cinnamon, what’d you expect, Black?”

“For it not to burn!”

Remus attempted to fan his tongue in between bites. It was the last round though, and he’d be damned if he let Lily win!

“Oh for the love of—Do you actually like this?” James had tears streaming unabashedly down his face.

Lily hummed a cute tune as she made quick work of her stick. She gingerly put down the remaining crook, and waited patently for the Marauders to finish.

Peter was next, with a triumphant whoop.

James threw down his finally and ran to the kitchen for water.

Sirius finished his with a war cry and ran after James in search of water.

“I’m sure as hell not serving that shite at the party!”

“… Bugger.” Remus stared at Lily. A tiny smirk grew into a full out shit-eating grin. It would seem as though the Marauders managed to rub off on her more than she would care to admit.

Once everyone was present and accounted for, Sirius collected everyones notes.

“Well, looks like the ‘pepperminty stick of doom’, as you so eloquently put Prongs, are the crowd favourite! We’re bringing those, Moony… and the spearmint ones too, because quite frankly, I fell in love a little bit.”

The daily quest fulfilled, Lily set about making her final request. 

“James.”

“Yes, Lily, love of my life.” He winced.

“Lick Remus.”

Peter, who had made the unfortunate decision to take a drink of water at that moment, promptly choked and sent the liquid streaming out of his nose.

Sirius laced his fingers together, eyebrows knitted together.

“Excuse me, everyone knows I’m the one who does all the licking around here.”

“I know.” Lily smirked.

“Why is this Christmas so full of licking?” Remus groaned. He leaned across the table and stuck his right cheek out to Prongs. “Just get it over with.”

James looked a little ill, but steeled himself, quite similar to how he would before a Quidditch match back in school. He gave Sirius a look and dove in.

His tongue was a lot softer than Sirius’s, Remus found himself thinking. He managed to contain his blush for the most part though.

James kissed Lily right after.

“Oi! That was not part of the deal!” she laughed. James continued his assault.

Peter went off to clean himself up, shaking his head.

Remus was about to sit back down properly, when a rough tongue slid along his left cheek.

“Ugh, Padfoot!”

“Sorry mate, you had a piece of candy cane. I couldn’t resist!”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it was only going to end up being a little, like, 600 word episode. I was very, very wrong. If you see any huge spelling mistakes, please let me know! I attempt to edit, but obviously, I don't look super carefully sometimes.
> 
> This weeks idea (and several hilarious lines) is brought to you courtesy of my best friend, who will hence forth be referred to as Bunny. (fun fact: Bunny is allergic to apples... we've been friends for 12 years... I always forget this)
> 
> I currently have ideas lined up through the 25th, so please stick around! Thanks to everyone who's been following me so far, and for all the kudos and comments!
> 
> Please leave a kudos/comment if you liked it!
> 
> Please lick responsibly. (Don't go shanking people unnecessarily.)


End file.
